New year, a better me

It’s the last day of 2014 and I’m sitting here in the Dominican Republic reflecting back on my past 365 days. It’s been a year of change. A year of pain, sorrow, excitement, happiness, new perspective and many blessings. One year ago I was in the north of Sweden and it had been 10 days since I found out about my friend’s suicide. I was a mess – I couldn’t eat, sleep or think. I thought I was going mad. I had the most horrible nightmares and I couldn’t stop but to think of people hanging themselves. Not a great start of a new year to say the least.

As I came back to Paris, where I was living, I became more and more uncomfortable where I was. I left work many times because I simply couldn’t be there. It reminded me of my friend (who was also a colleague) and also of the fact that I wasn’t where I was meant to be. I was screaming on the inside. The reminder of that I was at the wrong place and in the wrong city kept coming back and when I left work for perhaps the 5th time in tears, I knew the situation was unsustainable. I wouldn’t be mad to leave, but I would definitely be mad if I stayed.

So changes took place. I quit my job, I traveled a lot (South of France, Monaco, Spain, London, Prague and New York), I challenged myself in all areas of my life to build myself up again. Not just to where I had been but towards the path I was meant to go. And I was smiling again. Genuinely this time. I was so happy that my dad thought I was on drugs or depressed (not sure how that makes sense). The day I left work I dreamt that I was flying and kissing dolphins. Lol. I felt so liberated – I had set myself free.

During the fall I went to New York and I started a business. That had been what I’d longed to do. Step by step, I will make my dream happen. It’s a long way to there – I need a US visa and my business to generate income but I’m determined to make it happen.

Just as I made a list of what I did in 2014, here’s my list for what I want to happen in 2015:

– Overcome more fears

– Have my business flourish

– Meet the love of my life

– Develop my inner connection

– Never let something negative take up more than one day

– Help people become happier

– Meet more inspirational people

– Travel to South America

– Like more posts on Instagram

– Show people that I care more often, even if they didn’t ask me for help

– Judge people less

– Forgive more

– Stop caring about what others will think

– Have my hair back to normal (lost half of it during the difficult period in December)

– Win the green card lottery

– Live in New York

– Meet a dear friend who’s living in Canada

– Spend lots of time with family and friends

– Get more positive and energetic

– Have many awesome and unpredictable days and nights

– Tap into unknown skills

– Go to Envision festival in Costa Rica

– Be more trusting, forgiving, positive, laughing, flexible, tolerant and smiling

– Love more

4 thoughts on “New year, a better me

  1. neena1323 says:

    Lovely. What a difference a year can make. As we go through things it seems the hurt and pain will never end. Like drowning you wonder will you come up for air again and when you do will you finally stay up this time. Before you know it your head is above water and you are breathing again. Next thing you know you are walking on the very thing that once overwhelmed you. Looking forward to reading more post for 2015. Peace and Blessings.

    Liked by 1 person

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