Today was a very emotional day to say the least. I tried to control my feelings. I told myself over and over again that everything is alright. That being anxious, sad and worried won’t make a difference. It is what it is. It was like a spiral, where one problem arose after another. I felt helpless and I felt sorry for myself. I also knew I wasn’t looking at the main ‘problem’ from the right angle. For when it’s about your heart, it’s difficult sometimes.
I tried sleeping, I tried talking to people and taking a walk. Nothing really helped. I couldn’t work at all. I had no focus. So now I’m writing, hoping it will clarify things. It’s funny how one day can be so amazing; yesterday I was happy, smiling and joking around. I got so many compliments from people (one guy in the subway even said “Wow, you’re beautiful“, which made me smile a lot).
Today’s been the exact opposite. I’ve been so low, sad and anxious. And indeed that’s exactly what I’ve attracted into my life. Tonight I’m babysitting and one of the kids didn’t want to sleep (he usually sleeps very easily). The other one saw something on the floor and tried to pick it up, but it ran away – it was a mouse! My gosh… we both started screaming. I realized I had to stop and be the adult, so I was telling them stories of how mice are nice and that this little guy just wanted to get warm.
Anyway – new day tomorrow, which means a new beginning!