I had forgotten the WHY

Today I got reminded of WHY I’m doing what I’m doing. Why I quit my job, left Paris and all my friends to go to New York with no income, no apartment, no visa and a sister with $1 on her bank account (lol, must be some sort of a world record). Ever since I got here it’s been a struggle in finding the balance, keeping calm despite all of the things mentioned above and organizing with basic needs such as finding a place to stay for the night.

The past weeks, I’ve been on top of this wanting it ALL: to work on my project, meet friends, make new friends, to stay in touch with friends back home, party, network, be with the dogs and the cat, do yoga, meditate, read, listen and watch inspirational stuff, take baths, make healthy but cheap food, do sports etc. As you can see, there’s NO WAY to find a balance in all of this, and because of that I also forgot the real purpose for why I’m here.

No matter how desperate our situation might look like from the outside, doing this comes from a desire deep deep within. This project derives from my beloved friend who decided to end her life in December. She’s my driving force. When I think about her, I find my calm, truth and strength. I know that what I’m doing is for a higher purpose, that she’s right behind me. It’s not just me and my sister working on this project, she’s there too. What happened didn’t happen without a reason.

A dear friend of mine had to remind me of this today and when he did, I broke down completely. I couldn’t believe I had forgotten this! I knew I had been feeling un-grounded lately, but I couldn’t understand why. Now I know, and I will never ever forget WHY I’m here. I’m so grateful for my friend for reminding me of this. πŸ’œ

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