Learning to master my lessons

“Before a dream is realized, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams, master the lessons we’ve learned as we’ve moved toward that dream. That’s the point at which most people give up. It’s the point at which, as we say in the language of the desert, one ‘dies of thirst just when the palm trees have appeared on the horizon’.” ― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Along the journey towards our dreams, we are being tested indeed. It’s almost like people with candy show up on our path to say “Don’t you just want to stay here and have some candy? Do you know how gooood it is?“. Meeting my ex was like standing out in the cold during Christmas eve, looking in through the windows of a cozy house where a family had their dinner. Out where I was standing it was cold and windy, inside it was warm, safe and comforting. I could go in before, but now I wasn’t allowed any more. Do I try to break back in or do I pass by?

Last Saturday I met a guy. We were in a club in Stockholm and my friend (who was going all in to be my wing-woman) asked me which one I wanted. Lol. I pointed at one guy on the other side of the room and said “him“. She dragged me to him and made the most awkward introduction ever, which surprisingly lead to us kissing. We spent a super passionate night together and really enjoyed each others company. The past days we’ve been texting and Skyping, as he’s been away on a travel. We had an instant connection, and this created lots of thoughts in my mind… Maybe he could come and visit me in New York? Maybe this could lead to something else? Another warm lap to crawl up to, as I’m walking on my road. Maybe I could just stay there for a little while..? Just to get warm and to feel some love.

I’ve had two tests here in Stockholm, and today I got reminded again that everything happens for a reason. Yesterday I didn’t hear anything from the Saturday guy and today he called me up to say that a girl he used to date had appeared ‘out of nowhere’ into his life again. He said that he was confused. Since I’m also leaving Monday, we decided to call off our date tomorrow. He was honest with me, which I appreciate. First my ego was going crazy. “Who is she?“, “It wouldn’t hurt to meet just one more time“… but then I told myself to SURRENDER. It is what it is, resisting it won’t make any difference what so ever. It’s just madness. So I accepted the situation and tried to see beyond what had just happened. Why did we meet? Then I realized exactly why. He had given me hope that there are amazing, kind and honest men out there – and even in Stockholm. Ever since I broke up with my ex, I’ve thought “OK, that was THE one Swedish guy I could love. Now I need to look elsewhere“. He made me realize that fantastic men do exist. And yes, they CAN be Swedish.

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