Just surrender

That’s exactly what I need to do. And I’m trying, I really am. But I miss my sister so badly, we’ve spent over 3 weeks together and now she’s in Stockholm and I’m in Paris. Soon she’ll be in New York. I need to get into a state of gratefulness for those beautiful weeks we’ve spent together. That belongs in the past now. I also hate being the only one who’s single out of my friends in Paris. Everyone is in a relationships, which puts us on different levels. I have the feeling of never having enough, I always want more. More nights out, more time dancing my ass off and more people to meet. It’s like I have a bag of candy and I can’t stop eating from it. This, I just need to accept and enjoy when we actually do go out, and in the meanwhile also trying to find some single friends to go out with. I also don’t like to live alone. Sure I like to be alone for a period of time, but after 2 days I’m done – I miss having company. I miss waking up next to someone else talking about what we did in our sleep and what we dreamt about. I miss cooking, doing the laundry and all the other boring things together with someone I like. I know it won’t last forever so I just need to appreciate the time I have alone. At least I can do all the weird “living alone behaviour” like listen to the same song on repeat (at least 10 times in a row), eat too many honey sandwiches (they look disgusting) and dance like I’m Shakira in front of the mirror.

Surrender, surrender, surrender. Accept what is, without any resistance. Go into to the Now and feel that everything is OK in this very moment. This is what I’ll keep telling myself until I manage to get there.

5 thoughts on “Just surrender

  1. 1heartsoundm says:

    Awesome post. I smiled while reading this for many reasons. One being that all the things you mentioned about missing I can relate! But I also might add, that there is much wisdom in what you wrote because you do see that, although these are things you are missing, you also acknowledge the need to surrender and accept that at least for now, this is simply how it is. Our journeys in life are ever changing. The gifts that wait for us are sometimes right in front of us, but if we are caught looking to the “what was” it takes a little longer to see the “what is”!
    And just a side note—Have you ever tried peanut butter with that honey sandwich? Its amazing!!! ๐Ÿ˜‰


    • Maria says:

      Thanks you so much! It feels good to know that someone else out there can relate to the feelings. It might be obvious that someone should, but sometimes it feels like we’re alone in what we feel. You are so so right when saying that we need to look at the “what is”. I also really like what you said that gifts might be right in front of us – my whole body tickles from that thought. haha no, but I’m a bit skeptical. Honey and peanut butter together, really?? Lol


      • 1heartsoundm says:

        (Smiling) Really! It’s an amazing duet of flavors! Haha, how’s that for elegant food reviews? Peace!


      • 1heartsoundm says:

        Perfect! ๐Ÿ˜‰ Give it a try and no worries about anyone finding out! It will be our secret! By the way, I don’t go around telling just everyone that peanut butter and honey sandwiches are awesome…(but they are). ๐Ÿ™‚


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