That’s exactly what I need to do. And I’m trying, I really am. But I miss my sister so badly, we’ve spent over 3 weeks together and now she’s in Stockholm and I’m in Paris. Soon she’ll be in New York. I need to get into a state of gratefulness for those beautiful weeks we’ve spent together. That belongs in the past now. I also hate being the only one who’s single out of my friends in Paris. Everyone is in a relationships, which puts us on different levels. I have the feeling of never having enough, I always want more. More nights out, more time dancing my ass off and more people to meet. It’s like I have a bag of candy and I can’t stop eating from it. This, I just need to accept and enjoy when we actually do go out, and in the meanwhile also trying to find some single friends to go out with. I also don’t like to live alone. Sure I like to be alone for a period of time, but after 2 days I’m done – I miss having company. I miss waking up next to someone else talking about what we did in our sleep and what we dreamt about. I miss cooking, doing the laundry and all the other boring things together with someone I like. I know it won’t last forever so I just need to appreciate the time I have alone. At least I can do all the weird “living alone behaviour” like listen to the same song on repeat (at least 10 times in a row), eat too many honey sandwiches (they look disgusting) and dance like I’m Shakira in front of the mirror.
Surrender, surrender, surrender. Accept what is, without any resistance. Go into to the Now and feel that everything is OK in this very moment. This is what I’ll keep telling myself until I manage to get there.