The pain of letting go

Now when I’m on vacation and I’ve had a few days to relax, certain feelings comes back. Things that I’ve been avoiding to deal with show up in my dreams. I know the time has come to face them.

I’m feeling fine with the fact that my ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend, but I didn’t yet process if he were to marry or have kids with her. Yesterday I tried to imagine these scenarios. How I would meet the two of them holding hands on the streets of Stockholm, how he would tell me that she’s four months pregnant and that they’re now engaged. I would hear from common friends that they’ve never seen him this much in love before. Some of my closest friends would be invited to his wedding and I would sit at home that day knowing that they’re saying “I do” for the rest of their lives. Normally I push these painful thoughts away, but now I stay in them. I take everything in, I feel it all. I welcome the pain with arms wide open. I look fear straight into the eye. It can’t hide anymore. I won’t stop until I’m at complete peace with these thought. I won’t stop until I let him go fully.

My mom asked me if I could ever imagine myself with him again and my direct response was “no”. Sometimes I wonder – even if I know that this is the right decision, why does it hurt so much?

12 thoughts on “The pain of letting go

  1. passionfortruths says:

    In any close relationship, energetic ties are formed. Unless there are severed, one will still ‘feel’. Invisible Energetic ties or cords are created all the time. Gifted people such as clairvoyants can sometimes see them.

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  2. 1heartsoundm says:

    Letting go isn’t the easiest of things sometimes because although the mind ‘thinks’ one thing…the heart ‘feels’ differently and doesn’t always agree. Such growth is shown however in your willingness to face it head on. Allow yourself time to absorb what you feel and once you have, (as stated above) release it. Trust in your own knowing, allow it to serve you well and embrace the happiness that you deserve.:)
    May peace and calm fill you and may the light of love always be your guide friend.

    Like

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