A few weeks ago I started writing down the dreams I can remember. Looking through my notes I can see three main themes: New York, that I’m naked in public and my ex boyfriend. Yesterday I dreamt about my ex and that we celebrated Christmas with my family. It’s always difficult to dream about him, because it makes me miss him a lot. In my dreams I always worry that he’s angry with me, but he always welcomes me back with arms wide open.
Apparently dreaming that you’re naked symbolizes feelings of vulnerability, literally being naked and exposed in front of others. I guess blogging openly about my life change is one element, but I also know that I’m not yet comfortable telling people what I really want to do in life. Some reactions I’ve received have been negative, such as “that’s not very realistic” or “that’s gonna be very hard”. I feel like I need to protect my dream. It feels so vulnerable and sometimes I have the feeling that it can break anytime. I know that what I want to do is very difficult and it’s going to be a challenge, but I just cannot not have tried. That I would regret. And yes, my dream is connected to New York.