Last night I had a strange dream. I dreamt that I had moved to Gambia for a guy that I’d met, and that I lived with his huge family in a small house. In the dream, I started to panic because I didn’t get any space or time for myself. Being a person who’s never needed alone time, this feeling is new to me. When I panicked, I started thinking back about my ex boyfriend and how much I missed him. His personality, the way we made each other laugh and the way he looked at me. I woke up with a feeling of loneliness, sadness and grief. It’s been 14 months since we broke up, but it’s still difficult sometimes.
When these feelings come, I need to connect back to myself and my body. I do this by laying down on my bed and focusing all my thoughts on taking slow and deep breaths. After a few minutes, I place my attention on a body part like my arms for instance. I just relax and observe, and slowly I start feeling the energy on my arms. If you want an idea of how this feels like, just rub the palm of your hands together and then take them apart. The tingling feeling gives you a sense of what energy feels like. The more you evolve in feeling your energy, the stronger the feeling and the experience become.
Once I feel the energy on one part of my body, I can expand my focus to other parts. Once I feel it throughout my whole body, I start to mentally push it back and forth like waves going from my toes to the top of my head. While being in this state, I can also feel energy flowing down like water from the top of my head. Another way of feeling your energy is imagining that you’re being covered by a bright and healing light. Imagine that this light from above is like a waterfall of happiness, wellbeing and love. When you breath, you breath in the light and it fulfills your body. If you’re suffering from heart pain, you can focus your attention on your heart and tell it that everything will be alright, that you’re here to take care of it.
This helps me control my feelings and my state of mind. While doing it, I can feel how much power and energy that exists within me. I always thought that meditation was about thoughts – now I know that it’s about the experience.
Your body loves your attention. When you give it, you tap into your resources that the body is just waiting to give you.